Tiny Vessels
by LifeIChose
Summary: You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me. LP, BL.
1. Chapter 1

**Tiny Vessels**

**Disclaimer**: Obviously I do not own these characters. Lyrics in Italics belong to Death Cab for Cutie.

**Author's Note**: This story is based on The Runaway Found episode where Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Skillz go to rescue Mouth and the Death Cab song whose title and lyrics I am using.

It is a two-parter only. This is the first part.

If anyone were to ever ask Lucas Scott if liked sex, he would probably smile shyly and say "Sure. Who doesn't?" But he now understood that with sex came consequences. He had learned that the hard way after his first pregnancy scare with brunette cheerleader, Brooke Davis and then again from his one night stand with trouble-making vixen Nikki, the mother of his good friend Jake's child. Yes, Lucas Scott had learned a lot around then. Sex was a big deal and it often affected a lot more people than just the two who were engaged in the act. The lessons that he had learned from his previous sexual relationships caused him to swear that he would never have sex again until he was in love. Lucas felt like he had kept that promise. That's why he could not understand why there was such an uneasy feeling of dread creeping over him as he lay in a motel room bed with Peyton Sawyer in his arms. Him and Peyton were finally together and in love. They had decided to wait until the right time and with Brooke and Peyton on the way to repairing their friendship, Peyton and Lucas had decided it was time to take it to the next level.

Peyton had fallen asleep hours earlier but despite his best efforts Lucas could not join her in slumber. Lucas looked over at his girlfriend who had a smile on her face and he relaxed a little bit. "She really is beautiful," he thought and he reached out to touch her face. She stirred and as her eyes opened slowly and met his, she smiled.

"Hey you. Sorry I fell asleep so quickly."

Lucas smiled back. "It's okay. I've been known to wear girls out," he said, his tone light and teasing.

Her eyes lost a bit of their glimmer as she briefly pictured him in a similar situation with her former best-friend. She quickly pushed the thoughts out of her head and rolled on top of him. "Well you were pretty good but not that good."

Lucas automatically put his arms around her naked waist. "Oh yeah?"

Peyton leaned in and found his mouth in the dim light. "You can make it up to me," she whispered.

Lucas's body responded immediately and he rolled her over so that he was now on top of her. He kissed her and then slowly moved his mouth down her body pausing at her breasts. He heard her moan and continued his way down. He did not look up at her until he pushed himself into her and heard her cry out his name. Their eyes locked and she said, "I love you."

Lucas froze. She'd said the words before and he had faithfully uttered them back but this time it was different. She was looking at him with so much love and trust and he suddenly felt dirty. At that moment Skillz, Mouth and Brooke burst into the room. He looked up to see Skillz looking amused, Mouth looking vaguely embarrassed and Brooke…He only caught her eyes briefly but he knew that he would never forget that look. It was a mixture of raw pain, embarrassment and disgust and before he could react, the door was shut. He turned to Peyton who looked embarrassed but happy and suddenly it hit him like a punch in the stomach.

_This is the moment that you know_

_That you told her that you loved her but you don't_


	2. Chapter 2

**Tiny Vessels: Part II**

**Disclaimer**I still do not own any of these characters. Lyrics in Italics still belong to Death Cab.

**A/N**Thanks so much to those who reviewed. It is nice to know that someone out there is reading your story.

Lucas was silent and stiff as he contemplated the thought that had just come into his head.

"I wish Brooke didn't have to see that," Peyton said interrupting his thoughts. "But you and I are together now and we love each other so we shouldn't have to feel guilty."

Lucas swallowed hard and nodded because he knew Peyton expected him to react in someway. He looked into Peyton's eyes trying to forget the thoughts about Brooke that he was having but her luminous hazel eyes offered no comfort against the pain-filled ones of the brunette who had just left.

Peyton leaned in and kissed him and Lucas found it difficult to respond but as her fingers grazed the back of his neck and she deepened the kiss, Lucas found himself forgetting the uncertainties circling around his head. Peyton had always been able to turn him on and this time was no different. Peyton was now on top of him, working him with her hands and Lucas could no longer think of anything other than how good her cold hands felt against his hot body. His eyes closed in satisfaction as she replaced her hands with her mouth. Lucas was soon overcome with passion and desire as Peyton guided him into her and began to rock gently.

"You are so beautiful," Lucas said as he watched Peyton move on top of him. The words came out without him thinking. Peyton was moving on top of him, her head thrown back and Lucas could not help but notice how beautiful she was. He had lusted after her, wanted her for so long that now he could not believe that she was truly his. Peyton Sawyer was naked, on top of him, doing things to him that he had never even allowed himself to fantasize doing with her and Lucas could think of nothing else but how good it felt.

Peyton smiled at his words and increased the intensity of her rocking. As they both reached their breaking point, Peyton slowed down, looked at him and said, "I love you." When she collapsed on top of him a few minutes later, Lucas held her sweaty body close and whispered, "I love you too."

They lay like that for awhile as they both struggled to regain their breath. Peyton was the first to break the silence. She moved off Lucas and lay by his side, nestling into his chest. "Mmm, that was good."

Lucas put his arm around her and pulled her closer. "That's an understatement." He felt happy and satisfied and was relieved that what had been bothering him had disappeared.

Peyton laughed into his chest and Lucas could hear the contentment in the laugh which made him smile. He liked knowing that she was happy and that he had something to do with it.

"Are you happy Peyton?" he asked after a period of silence even though he knew the answer.

When she did not respond, he looked over at her and realized that she was sleeping. He still felt wide awake and would have liked to stay up talking until they both fell asleep. _That's what me and Brooke always did._ The thought came out of nowhere and the impact was all the more forceful because of it. Brooke's eyes when they had met his earlier came back to him and in that second so did the familiar feeling of dread which he thought had disappeared.

"Why am I thinking of Brooke right now?" Lucas asked himself. He looked at Peyton trying to rid the thoughts of his ex-girlfriend which he thought would be banished after sex with his current girlfriend. At this time Peyton shifted away from him in her sleep and rolled over onto her side as if she knew where Lucas's thoughts were. Instead of providing relief to Lucas, all Peyton's movements did were to remind Lucas more of Brooke. As Peyton moved away from him Lucas remembered how Brooke always seemed to shift closer to him as the night went on. He would wake up to find her halfway on top of him with his fingers twisted in her hair pulling her close. Lucas knew it was not right to be comparing the two girls but now that he had started he found it hard to stop.

Peyton was artsy and moody while Brooke was bubbly and cheery. Peyton liked books and music while Brooke liked clothes and shopping. Peyton liked the same things as Lucas while Brooke could not be more different from him. Peyton was blonde, tall, thin and beautiful while Brooke was curvy, brunette and beautiful. When Peyton kissed Lucas, his whole body reacted immediately. When Brooke laughed, Lucas felt alive. Lucas's last thought lingered and Lucas tried to picture Brooke's laugh. All Lucas could picture, however, was how Brooke had looked when she came into the room.

Lucas looked down at Peyton and suddenly felt sick. Peyton had been Brooke's best-friend. Peyton had chosen him over the girl who had always been there for her not once but twice. Peyton had chosen him twice. And Brooke had forgiven her twice. Peyton loved him enough to give up Brooke twice. And Brooke had loved them both enough to forgive them twice.

Lucas felt a terrible head ache forming as he tried to figure out his jumbled thoughts. Why was he not happy when he was finally with Peyton, the girl who everyone thought that he was supposed to be with? Lucas knew the answer to the question immediately after thinking it. It had been mulling around his head all night and now it was crystal clear. Peyton was who everyone, him, Brooke and Peyton included had always thought he should be with but being with Peyton did not feel right. When Peyton kissed him, he thought of how good it felt. When Brooke kissed him, he felt like he belonged.

As the realization that he was not in love with the girl sleeping next to him settled, Lucas felt a dull ache take over his senses. He had thrown away the girl he was in love with twice and Lucas knew he could never get her back. When he had gotten together with Peyton after his second break up with Brooke, he really had believed that maybe he did love her. There had been doubts here and there but he had pushed them away just as he had done to them this night.

_I_ _wanted to believe in all the words that I was speaking_

_As we moved together in the dark_

_And all the friends that I was telling, all the playful misspellings_

_And every bite I made that left a mark_

_As tiny vessels oozed into your neck and formed the bruises_

_That you said didn't want to fade_

_But they did and so did I that day_

Lucas had known the instant that his eyes had locked with Brooke's earlier in the night that she would never forgive him for choosing Peyton over her once more. He now understood that his relationship with Peyton was nothing more than an attempt to justify a cruel betrayal on both of their parts.

Peyton stirred and shifted closer to Lucas and he glanced down at her. The smile that had been on her lips all night was still there. Lucas felt like he wanted to scream or punch something but since he knew neither of those was an option, he opted to close his eyes and attempt to sleep. He found that sleep came easily, the events of the night having taken a toll on him. He awoke the next day to Peyton standing over him, already dressed and a cup of coffee in her hand.

"Hey sleepy head," she said. "Sorry to wake you but we have to go."

Lucas looked up at Peyton and frowned. The smile from the previous night was still on her face and she looked relaxed and happy. On his part, Lucas had had a restless sleep plagued with dreams about Brooke and the girl who was now looking at him like he was her world.

Peyton noticed the frown and asked, "Are you okay?"

Lucas could not imagine where to begin explaining if he said "no" so he nodded instead. "Yeah I'm fine. I just didn't get enough sleep last night."

_So when you'd ask, is something wrong?_

_I'd think, you're damn right there is, but we can't talk about it now_

Peyton seemed to believe him and her face relaxed again. She sat down on the edge of the bed and kissed him softly on the lips. "I just wanted you to know that last night was amazing and I'm really glad we waited. I am so in love with you Lucas Scott."

A lump formed in Lucas's throat and he struggled to control his emotions. He felt dirty again but now he knew why. Peyton was in love with him and he had slept with her while still being in love with her former best-friend. Lucas remembered Brooke's eyes from the previous night and could not bring himself to put a similar look on another girl's face. It was clear to Lucas that after last night Brooke would never forgive him and he now believed that he did not deserve her. It was also clear to Lucas after last night that Brooke had given him up because she thought that would make the two most important people to her happy. Because right now the only person who was happy was looking at him with her heart in her hand and because the love of his life had entrusted him to safeguard that heart, Lucas did the only thing he could. He smiled at Peyton Sawyer and said the words that really belonged to her former best-friend, "I love you too."

_So one last touch and then you'll go_

_And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more_

_But it was vile and it was cheap_

_And you are beautiful, but you don't mean a thing to me_

**The End**


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